


And I feel your warmth, and it feels like home

by UnicornBliss



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NCT U, Semi-smut, Soulmates, Tenil, fluff?, my new otp shall rise, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-27 08:43:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7611313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornBliss/pseuds/UnicornBliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chittaphon's only home was in his arms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back Home

> _And I feel your warmth and it feels like home_ \--

Chittaphon’s shoes are buried in mud, soaked in the afternoon rain showers and heavy with restrained force in his legs. He stares up at the gray sky, clouds intervening as they clog out any sun rays from escaping minimal spaces and making their way to his skin. It’s cold , he shivers under the light hoodie draped over his torso, barely granting him the warmth he’d yearned for. Nothing could make him feel the way _he_ did.

 

A gentle smile appears on his face unbeknownst to him, twisting the pads of his fingers around the bag in his hand. He’s enamored by the scene above, pupils dilating at the gradual movement of clouds from one area to another, migrating from one roof to another. They’re dark , he notes to himself silently, hoping he’d reach home before they started pouring heavy raindrops onto his unshielded body. Maneuvering his way through the soggy ground , scrunching his nose in displeasure when he takes note of how he’d unintentionally damaged his new pair of shoes. It wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to him since this uneventful morning but he’s bothered, bearing it for the sake of reaching home at last.

 

His heart skips a beat at the image dancing in his mind at the idea of home. Home was all he’d craved for in those five years of desolation, denied from his profound emotions that pined for him. Bangkok was basically his hometown, but Seoul was where he’d left his heart, aching in wanton- deprived of his touch and reassuring gaze. His eyes threaten to release unshed tears, much like how those clouds had gushed out endless streams generously. The sky had cried on his behalf, reminding Chittaphon that he wasn’t alone, not anymore- he lets out a choked chuckle, laced with an evident urge to cry.

 

It’s a few minutes later when he’s finally at his destination, apartment building high and looming in between abandoned alleyways. Five years are proved insignificant, spent in oblivion when the familiar scene from long back is brought back to life, a déjà vu . A stray cat seeks shelter under his bag and he glances down for a moment, sympathy creeping up his senses when he picks it up and cradles the ball of fur into his chest securely- safe and warm. It meows in gratitude, nuzzling the boy’s fabric in appreciation and his eyes soften in response.

 

His steps are heavy when he climbs up the stairs, each step following a pattern of memories rushing back to him in a nostalgic mode. His gait becomes irregular- excited, anxious and most of all eager when he , at last, reaches the apartment. Nothing is heard sans his ragged breaths and thunder storms resounding from every wall. It’s the moment he’d cried for, endured lonely nights and endless days for. A little nervously, he knocks the wooden door using his shaky knuckles and waits. He’d always waited, it shouldn’t have felt this foreign to him. Right now, a second resembled a day, and a minute was worth a month. Chittaphon wasn’t about to repeat his remorseful experience in awaiting and longing for what he’d claimed his own.

 

Ten seconds, soft padding on the floor, shuffling from behind the door, then a voice he almost broke down upon hearing, velvety and smooth, just like his owner.

 

_“Yes?”_

 

Chittaphon’s tears are no longer held back, streaming down his cheeks while his lips twitched in a genuine smile. His silence was long enough for an alarming _“ Who is it?”_ to form again, Taeil sounding concerned and quite vexed. He could almost hear the way his brows furrowed and lips puckered in a dissatisfied pout from that one question.

“It’s me.”

He blubbers quietly, fisting his bloodshot eyes and suppressing his sobs desperately, promising not to cause a scene but realizing well enough how sensitive his lover is. It might as well turn into a crying fit as long as he’d be in his own arms.

When after a contemplative moment the door is unlocked, Taeil’s messy chocolate locks peeking through the tiny space, affirming his assumptions , his eyes land on Chittaphon’s and he gasps. His hand falls off the door knob, flying over to his face where his mouth had trembles visibly. Tears illuminated his eyes like jewels, eyelashes batting repeatedly when he’d succumbed to the pile of emotions bottled for years, postponed for when his lover is there, holding him tight and thumbing away his tears. It was a mere wish, a dream- but not now. Right now, it’s reality.

Right now, it’s heaven.

The loud thud of the bag being dropped drowns out Taeil’s choked sob, the little cat hopping off her temporary shelter, Chittaphon’s chest, and curling at his feet as it looked up to where he’d cupped his lover’s head. They never speak, letting their eyes pour out mutual feelings in the form of fitful cries and pitiful whimpers. Chittaphon’s lips trail the shorter’s cheeks where hot alkaline drops had cascaded and he whispers blissfully over soft skin, warm and delicate.

 

“I’m home.”


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Here is the house  
> Where it all happened  
> Those tender moments  
> Under this roof  
> Body and soul come together  
> As we come closer together  
> And as it happens  
> It happens here  
> In this house"

Swiftly, tenderly, almost in worship, nimble fingers trace pearly skin starting from frail wrists then tracing protruding veins buried in the expanse of thin forearms, proceeding up until they grab at narrow shoulders. Chittaphon’s hooded eyes drink the sight of the male in his hold, nude glory all exposed for him to appreciate in an excruciatingly slow manner. Every atom existing in the smaller’s body craved the thai boy’s touch, anticipated his approaches direly, longed for the gentle breath casted on his heated skin.  They followed each other, from exchanging infatuated stares to exploring fields using their hands, never once breaking the bond in between them.

 

\--

 

Chittaphon had only opted for having a breather this evening when, by the works of fate, he’d bumped upon the latter. It was vaguely familiar how those eyes had glimmered under the moonlight illuminating his caramel complexion as he grinned joyously, freely. The prom night hadn’t appealed to him back when he was invited by his classmates, each of them as excited as the other as they discussed their partners whom they’d asked out prior to the event. The Thai boy couldn’t find it in him to be hyped for the event, mind occupied by the several basketball scholarship offers he’s gotten over the last few weeks. Deciding was hard, but stressing for days was even harder. Never in his wildest dreams has he ever imagined that one unfortunate day like this, he’d be obliged to determine his future by a simple choice. It was happening all too fast for his mind to grasp and it didn't help that all his classmates had previously chosen their careers, establishing their potential jobs at an early phase unlike him who preferred getting lost in his own muses- waiting for his passion to conquer him and lead him to the right path. 

 

Everything for chittaphon was spontaneous , and so was Taeil’s entrance in his life. 

 

The night breeze was mildly cold, caressing their skin, when chittaphon had first laid eyes on Taeil. Taeil had worn a casual shirt along with high cut jeans and converse shoes. His auburn mane swayed with the wind, stroking his delicate features and creating beautiful imagery that had etched itself in chittaphon’s memory box. If he could, he would paint it on a huge canvas with variant colors and keep it hung on his room’s wall to admire every other minute. Though he wasn't quite artistic ,and yet, the urge to emphasize the male’s beauty remained unfaded. 

 

If possible, he'd map him out entirely and memorize every edge of his existence-

 

“ _ Hey _ ,” the beauty whispers into the quiet air, lips tugged up in a timid smile as he approached the pale boy, fingers snug in his jeans pockets and posture slanted to the side slightly. 

 

Chittaphon struggles to voice out a convenient response but he regrets it as soon as his brain to mouth filter fails him miserably. 

 

_ “You're beautiful _ .” 

  
  
  


Taeil’s smile never falters, instead it grows wider until his eyes resemble a pair of sparkly crescents- rivaling the beauty of the moon and stars. A subtle shade of rosy pink dusts his plump cheeks and a hand comes up to hinder Chittaphon’s eyes from catching it, but he does. He imitates the action, only in his case, in a poor attempt to cover up his slip off. 

 

_ “I can’t believe I said that,” _ He trails off awkwardly while his eyes drift to nowhere.“ _ Sorry _ .”

 

Taeil shakes his head briefly, extending out one hand from the confines of his warm pocket to offer a handshake. Chittaphon's palm gets clammy, restlessly shaking yet anxiously reaching out for the male’s hand. It was unexceptional for him to admire someone based off looks alone, but Taeil was entirely different. Something about the way his smile had appeared kind yet reserved, as if tentative and timid while still mildly interested. His touch was as light as feather, quick to send electric tingles along the Thai boy’s hand, traveling all the way to his spine. 

  
  


_ “I'm Taeil. Moon Taeil _ .” 

  
  


Chittaphon might have sounded mushy and extremely irrational when he’d muttered to himself ‘prettier than the moon itself ‘. 

 

\--

 

In a torrent of darkness, moon taeil is that one lustrous being, a source of hope and essence. 

 

Chitraphon’s eyes never waver when they discover galaxies in the auburn haired’s orbs. They alternate between his beautifully slanted nose, the curve of his philtrum, the wrinkles of his eyes and the thick lashes framing the windows of his soul. A masterpiece he ached to worship in a shrine at the corner of his room, yet alive enough to watch under the luminous sky in a summer night. It had been only an hour or two- he wouldn't have figured out - when Taeil finally asked, quite sarcastically, if he was planning to spend the next day at the beach, where the party was located (and eventually , unintentionally neglected). Chittaphon’s brows knit at the realization then. It must’ve taken them quite long while they talked aimlessly by the shore, booming speakers and loud talks drowned by the sound of waves crashing at their feet. 

 

_ “ I don't recall seeing you in school _ .” 

 

_ “I don't attend your school, that's why”  _

 

The Thai boy nods, his assumptions proven right. 

 

“ _ My friend’s in your class though and he thought i'd have fun if I come.”  _

 

_ “Well, are you?” _

 

Taeil’s only response comes in a small smile as his eyes were cast down to his lap. Chittaphon preferred interpreting it in a positive way. Perhaps he wasn't the only one wondering how fortunate it was of him to attend the party. Worst scenarios might as well turn out to be the best, he wandered silently. 

  
  


“ _ Taeil ?” _

 

Said male perks up at the familiar voice and turns around, facing the boy who’d approached them looking wasted and somehow perplexed. 

 

“ _ What are you doing?” _

 

_ “Just talking. Why?” _

 

_ “We’ve been looking for you, _ ” he explains impatiently, finally sparing the person by taeil’s side a glance. His eyes scan chittaphon shortly before his attention returns to Taeil, who seems to have not caught onto his purpose. 

 

“ _ Don't look for me. I'm having fun here really.” _

 

_ “But the girls..” _ He looks back behind him at the crowd surrounding the dance floor and Taeil’s smile is officially gone from his face. The peacefulness of his presence had remained nonetheless as he sighed quietly .  _ “I really prefer staying here. Have fun .” _

 

His friend, Chittaphon supposed , gives him a pointed look but doesn't argue, stepping far from them and joining the group of friends he’d been with originally. When Taeil’s attention is back to their little moment, he smiles. 

 

“ _ That's my friend, he's supposed to be graduating too. “ _

 

“ _ I've seen him before. Just can't recall where and how. “  _

 

Taeil stares at him temporarily before swaying his feet in in the air. “ _ You don't seem like a sociable person.” _

 

_ “I guess I'm not. _ ”

 

“ _ Or maybe you are,” _ he suddenly cuts in, confidence lacing his words this time as he fiddles with his fingers. “ _ Just with the right people. “ _

 

And it was the most someone has known about him. 

 

\--

 

Taeil’s home is warm and cozy- much like its owner. The offer had sounded too tempting for him to reject when the older of them (he’s come to know recently) lead him to his neighborhood. Chittaphon needed an escape and Taeil was more than ready to grant it. A room with them both, basking in the tranquility surrounding them.Taeil comes back from his bedroom dressed in comfy clothes and hair falling freely on his face. He’d looked best like that, Chittaphon decides. 

 

“ _ Make yourself home.” _

 

It had started out as a kind offer out of mere generosity and has unknowingly become reality by the days. 

  
  
  


They’re resting on the older’s white sheets when Chittaphon’s head turned sideways, overtly examining the other’s features in silence, admiring the air lingering between them yet wishing it ceased to exist. Taeil’s well aware of Chittaphon’s eyes on him, breathing evenly for a while as he stared up at the ceiling before a soft chuckle resounded from his kissable lips. 

 

“ _ You like me.”  _ He states rather than questions the latter and it floats in the air for a while as they remain motionless. 

 

_ “I do _ .”

 

Taeil’s adam’s apple bobs up when he gulps and the thai boy’s eyes are trained on his neck, watching his every move as if he were a piece of art in an exhibition- a tangible proof that perfections existed. The resemblance wasn’t unnoticable when Taeil’s entire existence conveyed all forms of beauty and he couldn’t resist glorifying with his own bare hands. The one true trigger was Taeil’s inviting gaze when he’d turned to face him, am unfamiliar glint floating in his eyes emphasizing wanton and need, tongue slyly poking out to moisten his lips temptingly. Chittaphon’s exhale sounded louder than he’d expected when he flipped himself above the older, hands on either side of his head and noses barely touching, breaths mingling and lips teasingly ghosted on each other. 

  
  


“ _ I’ll show you how much I like you,” _

 

He murmurs on flushed cheeks, dragging his lips south to where his jaw had clenched and pressing feather like pecks to ease the tension out of his muscles. Taeil’s hands twitch before they’re buried in the other’s disheveled hair, raking small fingers on his scalp as they exchanged looks, wordlessly confiding mutual desires surfacing in their glazed eyes. Body and soul united, lips on lips, heart beats in sync, they kiss like it’s the only source of salvation, their only instincts. Chittaphon’s palms had meticulously crept under the smaller’s thin shirt as if touching shores of an unknown territory. Deft fingers run along the expanse of Taeil’s skin spreading warmth onto his torso, toying with the hem as it hunched up right around his perky nipples. The older of them releases a quiet whimper when digits enclose around his buds, drawing out a string of soft gasps and shameless mewls igniting a fiery desire in Chittaphon’s chest to claim his entire body. 

  
  


“ _ You _ ..” He breathes heavily on the column of Taeil’s neck  _ “are beautiful _ .”

 

Taeil sighs deliriously, throwing his head to the back when eager lips attack his neck with open mouthed kisses and occasional nips. Marking every patch of skin with his own teeth as if it were his league, belonged to him from this moment onwards. Chittaphon had an inkling of how possessive he is yet allowing his emotions to drive his actions was a whole new experience for him.His hands grip the smaller’s sides in the heat of the moment before he slides in between his legs, spreading them open for more access. Taeil’s mouth forms a gap, drool bordering the sides of his mouth but little did any of them care. The one above had adamantly undressed himself halfway, bearing his chest to the male underneath him in an inviting manner. 

 

The anticipation pouring out through every gesture, every glance, every breath had Taeil’s stomach lurching anxiously. He wraps his legs around staunch hips and pulls closer until their chests are rubbing. His first reaction to the younger’s exposed skin elaborated through the movement of his lips, languidly sucking on his pectorals while slow exhales fanned his pale skin. Chittaphon’s eyes roll to the back of his head when teeth graze his nipples, testing waters by gnawing at a perky bud while glossy eyes peered up curiously at him. The sight had him almost losing every bit of self control but he persists, instead cradling taeil’s head in his hands and encouraging him to go harder. 

 

Taeil obeys, wanting nothing but chittaphon’s pleasurable moans and breathy words of praise that he'd secretly enjoyed most. 

 

He suckles particularly hard on his right bud until it hangs swollen by his ministration, flushed and wet. 

 

“ _ Oh, baby-” _

 

Chittaphon drawls out when a string of saliva connects his chest to the older’s abused lips, holding his brown hair with one hand while another gripped at the back of his neck to kiss him roughly . It served as a nonverbal form of gratitude that Taeil had accepted earnestly, opening up his mouth for the other’s wet muscle to explore freely- running up his palate and rolling around his warm cavern. Chittaphon pulls back, staring closely at Taeil’s bed hair ,long lashes fluttering above high cheekbones and he thinks this is how angels must look like. Chittaphon was never a believer, nor a dreamer in any sense- though Taeil had claimed himself as his only fantasy. 

  
  


“ _ Angel, take it off. _ ” He whispers into Taeil’s temple, hands crawling up the inside of his shirt in emphasis. The soft fabric never settles for long on the doe eyed, disappearing before his eyes in a matter of seconds before creamy skin and protruding collar bones appear instead. The sight has him breathless for a moment, silently raking his eyes over every inch, afraid he’d miss an atom of the older’s torso. It was inviting to stare at, and he’d long lost the ability of deny himself any of the goodness presented before his eyes. 

 

“ _ Stop _ .” 

 

Taeil looks away, fringes hindering their eyes from connecting and retaining a new barrier between them that Chittaphon assumed was long broken. 

 

“ _ What _ ?”

 

“ _ Stop staring. It's embarrassing.”  _

 

Brows knitted in utter confusion, the Thai boy holds Taeil’s face in his hands gently and looks at him in the most delicate manner ever. Taeil had swallowed a sob at the fondness of the latter, tugging his bottom lips into his mouth and stifling his emotions from breaking out. 

 

“ _ Look at me” _ he whispers in English, the language he’s grown with before he’d come to Seoul and established a new life. Words fail him in Korean, he realizes when the only thoughts running in his mind were hardly translated the way he wanted. He’d harbored an affection for the older that can no longer be cloaked by the timid gestures and genuine kisses they exchanged- there had to be a vocal expression. Something to ease his nervousness and assure him it wasn't about his warmth, but also his soul- his beautiful enchanting soul that wrapped around his own in a mess of red strings and unfathomable knots. 

 

“ _ Your body is beautiful. Just like you, and your smile. Don't hide. Don't fear. I'm here to tell you how worthy you are, Taeil. _ ” 

  
  


They had barely met each other, exchanged casual talks yet the younger was invading Taeil’s walls one by one . His hold never faltered, eyes trained on him and only him. The glint in his genuine eyes spoke to him more than his voice or words and he feels every bit of restraint in him crumble down rapidly in response. It was a call for him to give himself wholly and he’d accepted the offer adamantly, unlatching his arms from around his body and instead, hooking them around Chittaphon’s shoulders while his face had found shelter in the crook of his neck. 

 

“ _ Thank you  _ “ 

 

They both whisper at the same time, smiling to themselves after. Nothing was surprising anymore. It was fate, they were fated. 

 

\--

  
  
  


Chittaphon’s phone rings early morning from the floor where it was buried under piles of discarded clothes. The huddled blankets surrounding him and the human embodiment of a pillow settled in his arms oblige him to stay despite how obnoxious the ringing was. It takes about two minutes for him to finally groan in surrender, shifting slowly not to wake up the smaller and stretching out his hand as far as he could while still attached to the mattress . 

 

_ “Hello? _ ” He responds groggily, yawning into his palm the next second. 

 

The blanket behind him starts moving and he assumes he’d waken up the older but only manages to pat his bum covered in thick blankets as he listened to the other line. Moments later, he hangs up and heaves a sigh before turning back to Taeil who was fully awake and peering at him through droopy eyes and long lashes. 

 

_ “Sorry , did I wake you up?” _

 

Taeil shakes his head briefly, tugging the covers closer to his chin before sneaking one hand to reposition himself against the younger’s chest. Chittaphon chuckles airily at his clingy attitude but abides to his request nonetheless, wrapping his arms around him to hold him closely. He dips down to nuzzle chocolate locks and inhale their addictive odor when taeil’s mewl fans his skin. 

 

“ _ What was that?” _ He asks in a barely audible tone and Chittaphon looks at the adjacent wall emptily . 

 

“ _ It's nothing.” _ He replies, expression contradicting his words yet never granting the older any idea with the way he was positioned. Taeil hums back, working a line of soft pecks from the younger’s collar bones to his nape like a kitten. Curtains flew  back and forth with the wind as rays of sunshine poured in through the window to land on Taeil’s skin. Sheets of golden rays glimmered in his orbs reflecting Chittaphon’s image in their crystal clear pupils. He breathes softly into the smaller’s palm, pressing a long kiss there before witnesing Taeil’s ecstatic smile brighten his entire visage, automatically drawing an equally delighted smile on Chittaphon’s.

 

_ “Morning.”  _

 

Taeil whispers quietly, like the four walls caging them and the floor underneath their conjoined bodies had ears of their own. Chittaphon stares a little more, infatuated by the intimacy they shared. 

 

_ “Good morning to you too, angel.”  _

  
  


\--

  
  


Weeks pass and they’re already celebrating their first month anniversary. Taeil’s vibrance remains throughout the days and Chittaphon is sure he’s the luckiest man alive to have him all for himself. It wasn’t official, nor did any of them confide their mutual attraction to the other in any sort of confession yet it was implied in the way they were attached physically and spiritually, souls connected through an unseen thread that they felt during every second of the day. Chittaphon had moved into the older’s apartment, occupying the same bed he used and relishing in Taeil’s soft snores and warm embrace. From the moment they woke up till the time they doze off to sleep, Chittaphon’s admiration for his lover conveyed itself relentlessly. He’d showered him with all the affection he lacked, supplied him with endless praises and grateful kisses whenever he faltered wistfully to his insecurities. Chittaphon devoted every second of his life to Taeil even if it meant disregarding his own happiness- for taeil’s happiness meant his own, and so did his agony. 

  
  


Taeil never missed the way Chittaphon’s smile had gradually faded from his face, replaced by wrinkles and sagging eye bags that failed to hide his beauty. Alarmed, he’d normally question if the latter slept well, occasionally dragging him to bed at early hours yet discovering it was not the issue later on. While Taeil had opened up about everything to the younger, Chittaphon had remained privately enclosed to himself, only providing the littlest of information past his lips and even then, Taeil would heed to his words, absorbing every small detail about his lover. The auburn haired has long given up on prodding Chittaphon about opening up, although it ached to observe the sparkle in his eyes die piece by piece, darkness enveloping his gaze and serenity masking his pained expressions.

 

So when they sat by cafe’s outdoor table munching on a dessert in celebration for their anniversary, Taeil’s only concern is Chittaphon’s untouched plate and grim face. His hand drops the fork in his fingers and reach out for the younger’s, holding it his warm palm and earning the raven haired male’s attention.

 

_ “Chittaphon, what’s wrong?”  _

  
  


The latter looks up abruptly, blinking in confusion before he musters one of his poor attempts at smiling. It did impossible things to Taeil’s heart, breaking it into several pieces at the sight. 

 

_ “Noth-” _

 

_ “Babe, am I that untrustworthy for you to repeat those lies every time I ask you?” _

 

Chittaphon’s lips tremble, hands enveloping Taeil’s in a tight grip as he sat up to redeem himself. Taeil’s eyes were clouded with sorrow, a crease formed on his forehead that the latter wanted to erase with all his might. 

 

_ “No, no of course not. I trust you. “ _

 

_ “Then what? What’s going on ?” _

 

_ “I’m leaving.” _

 

_ “W-what?” _

 

_ “I’m leaving to Bangkok, Taeil. I have to.” _

  
  
  


_ Glass clinks soundly against the table, hushed cries and broken promises exchanged under the summer night sky. The stars above had witnessed their moment, illuminating pearls in Taeil’s eyes that fell with every ragged breath Chittaphon had used while in his presence. Words of love and assurance had dissipated into thin air, just like their shared moments and transformed into tormenting stabs into his heart. The air becomes cold, too cold for Taeil to bear- too cold for angels to fly. And the warmth that he once possessed had melted, withering like an oak tree in winter. Chittaphon’s only last words had been ‘I’ll be back home.’ _

  
  


_ Taeil chose to believe in love; Taeil believed in Chittaphon.  _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for some reason i feel like this was unnecessary but the urge was nagging at me so ye here it is, where it all happened. All Hail Tenil . (does this count as soulmate au??)

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my ambaby, the ten to my taeil. Also, celebrating the fact that they're my new otp as well. I might as well ship everyone with Taeil lmao (unbeta'ed)  
> feedback pls ? <3  
> (find me on twitter @unicornbliss97)


End file.
